it’s almost 1 am on a work night. nagpupuyat na naman ako. inspiration always comes late i guess. i had my dose of the one i want today. and i’m satisfied. it’s always the little things that make me smile. =).
i think, i hope, that i’m starting to grow on him. i notice how he seems to have gotten used to me being around…and i pray that i’m not just deluding myself. =) i’ve neglected you this week boy, and i hope you don’t think i like you less.
i’m so gutsy. haha. it’s coz he’ll probably never read this anyway. =P
on the way to work this morning, while i was stuck in traffic…i was browsing through my phone and i found an old quote that i kept:
‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome each time. The incapacity to distinguish the difference between right and wrong. Consistent foolishness. Mental deterioration that renders one unable to make sound decisions or be held responsible for their actions.
Well, I guess I’ll have to plea temporary insanity then. It’s the only explanation for my own stupid behavior.
I don’t know why but I just thought that the more I tried with him, the better things would get. And I wasn’t ale to get to the part where my actions were wrong. I kept believing that he would come around. Giving him the benefit of the doubt.
The truth is, at the end, he might have. I could’ve gotten what i wanted. But, the funny thing about that was, I didn’t want it anymore. A day late, a dollar short, you know?
And now that it’s over and done with, I don’t want anything to do with the consequences. And i definitely don’t want to be held responsible for my actions. Yes, pleading insanity is the best option to get out of this mess unpunished.’
you know who you are. it will take more than a song to win me or my friendship back. to be honest, i would much rather listen to an apology, with actions behind those words, than listen to you sing your heart out (or so you say). for a while you had me going there…but i wonder if your girlfriend knows about how claim to you feel?
i hope i’m not being too insensitive with what i’m saying, but i don’t know if i can believe anything that comes from you anymore. and i never thought we would come to this. it’s sad, really.
you know…what you did…it was sweet. but it’s late. a day late, a buck short. you had me. you fooled me. you insulted me. you disappeared from days on end. please let me go. i don’t want anything from you until i see action behind your words. i’m tired of your declarations and empty promises. and i don’t want to pretend that nothing happened, just like you like to do. i know it seems like i’m contradicting what i said last may…but that was on the assumption of a friendship built on trust and honesty. i’m sorry. i really am. i never thought this day would come. but you should’ve thought of that before….
October 9th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:57 am